Gory Goodness

This one's coming a day early; tomorrow there will simply be no time...

So over the past couple of weeks I've indulged in the gorier side of the arts. First, a friend and I finished playing through God of War 3 for the Playstation 3. Having played through this entire massive-scale trilogy, I'm left with mixed feelings. Or maybe the effect has just somewhat worn off. I remember playing the first of the three games several years ago and being genuinely impressed. The formula was simple: kill...everything. Hidden beneath the story of a Spartan warrior essentially selling his soul to Ares, the god of war, it was little more than an old-school button-masher. But what made the gameplay so compelling was the utter brutality of it all. The way the action drifted in and out of slow-mo as you massacred entire armies was so oddly satisfying. It has been a long time since a videogame character had literally felt powerful. The fact that the game revolved around the concept of becoming powerful enough to kill a god didn't hurt either. Then came part two, which is easily my favorite of the trilogy. It offered more polished graphics, more variety of enemies and more gigantic boss battles. The game opened on an epic boss battle that seemed to go on for hours. Essentially, I finished the first game and thought "how can they possibly make the sequel any more epic?" And then they absolutely did in every way. Even the environments seemed to come to life in the second game in a way that wasn't quite present in the first. And of course, having learned to kill a god, why not take on the king? So the mission at hand was dispatching of Zeus.

This all leads us back to the final installment in the series. Visually, there is no comparison; this game gets all of the juice it can out of the PS3's processor and offers more enemies, constant boss battles and a finale that just seems to go on and on. The environments are constantly moving and changing and it is at moments mind-boggling how much is going on at once on the screen. (Likely today's newer gamers wouldn't even stop to notice, but when I was a kid, a fraction of these enemies would have slowed the frame-rate of an 8 or 16-bit game to a crawl.) And the violence...oh the violence! This game takes it to a new level. Every imaginable internal organ is ripped out of enemies at one point or another. There's even a sequence in which you're bashing in a boss's head by hammering on the Circle button as the camera gets so covered in splatter that you can't see anything. You're permitted to keep mashing that Circle button until you feel you've unleashed enough aggression, and then, when you're all done and ready, the game continues.

So then what's missing? Well, first off, though these have never been games lauded for inspired writing, I felt this game really had nowhere to go, story-wise, and thus held no surprises. The point is simply to kill everything and everyone, knowing that at the end you'll face Zeus and win. I mean, they basically tell you so in the intro. It's kind of an elaborate retread of the second game in the series. There's also the fact that after playing through the first two of these games, you're inevitably desensitized to it all. Somehow they managed to surpass my expectations in how they raised the bar with the second game, but this third one just felt like more of the same. Having said that, I enjoyed playing it and fans of the series will surely enjoy it, but I think it's made obvious, never more so than by the odd, overlong "introspective" sequence at the end, that the writers/designers have run out of fuel.

Moving along, the other thing I thought I would mention is that, after writing my list of favorite horror movies, I decided to revisit Lucio Fulci's "The Beyond". I hadn't seen it in years and sometimes nostalgia can be misleading, but in this case, I still maintain that it is one of the most creative Italian gore flicks I've had the pleasure to watch. The beauty of Fulci is that he doesn't like to overuse cuts. He understands that to make his audience reel (see what I did there?), he can't allow them to look away. As such, we are treated to a series of violent murder set-pieces, each seemingly attempting to outdo the other. Some of the choices are, however, slightly odd. The best example of this is when a blind character is murdered by her seeing eye dog. Anyone who is a Dario Argento fan already knows where I'm going with this. It seems all too familiar since we've seen it before in Argento's "Suspiria". Perhaps this was Fulci's homage to the master, but in either case, in a film so full of creative death sequences, why replicate something we've already seen, and to less effect? It's why "The Beyond" is most famous for its tarantula murder scene and not for the canine sequence.

"The Beyond" is, much like many of the Italian horror films of the 70s and early 80s, more focused on audio-visual atmosphere than plot, which is as simple as: woman inherits hotel which happens to be situated on one of the seven portals to hell; people die. The beauty of it all--if it can be called such a thing--is the mood, that oh-so-Italian synth soundtrack that blares out as a slow death plays out before our eyes. The characters never really fight back and there aren't really any chases...they are there to die in the most horrifying ways possible, no more, no less. It's also worth noting that if this film were remade, it would simply fail, and that's for one obvious reason: CGI. They would kill everyone off in astounding fashion, only it would all look like a cartoon. "The Beyond" shows off the true art of special effects back when they were a craft, not a form of animation. I won't ruin the various death sequences, but if you're a gorehound like me and haven't yet seen this, run....run fast and find it. Only make sure it's the unrated/uncut version that has now surfaced, since all previous versions were butchered and are missing the parts that make this film so worthwhile. And while you enjoy it, don't forget to pay attention to some of the truly beautiful cinematography, such as the long panoramic shot of the car on the highway (you'll know the one I mean). It's as if Fulci throws a few of those gorgeous shots in there to remind us that he doesn't have to spend his time in the trenches of death and dismemberment, he chooses to.

Getting Caught Up Part III: 8-bit Bliss

So here we are, week 3 and the final week of catching up. The topic at hand, of course, is video games. They've played an important role in my life and I have fairly strong opinions as far as the benefits video games offer to children and their development, not only as far as hand-eye coordination, but also important life skills, such as problem solving and logical thinking, not to mention how if you break bricks with your head, they may contain money!

Though we had an Atari when I was very young, and I did enjoy some of the games that it offered--Pitfall, Venture, ET (okay, not ET, but everybody hated that game...they literally had to dump all of the cartridges into a landfill, it bombed so hard...seriously, look it up)--my true passion for gaming started with Nintendo. And much of that was due to a man by the name of Shigeru Miyamoto, who created such games as Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros., and The Legend of Zelda to name a few.

A game like the original Super Mario Bros. seems simple in design by today's standards, but it must be kept in mind that with that game, Miyamoto invented the 2-D side-scrolling platformer...something that is still imitated to this day! Nobody had, before then, imagined a game progressing sideways. Seems silly but it's ingenious when you stop to think about it. He also created the lovable Link and his adventures in Hyrule, creating a formula still used today in the action/adventure genre--many dungeons hidden in a hub world, each containing items integral to completing the next one.

I doubt any game I play for the remainder of my life will compare to those first experiences, in part because the gaming industry has become a money-making behemoth catering to a much broader audience that often favors rehashes or pretty graphics over innovation in gameplay, and in part because Miyamoto, having been promoted within Nintendo, no longer directs games but rather oversees production. It's why the best Zelda game (or fan favorite anyways, since I consider "A Link to the Past"--also a Miyamoto title--to be the best one) is "Ocarina of Time" and not "Twilight Princess". It's why "Super Mario Bros. 3", "Super Mario World", and "Super Mario 64" are all still superior to newer titles in the series such as "Super Mario Sunshine" and "Super Mario Galaxy". Miyamoto's presence, or more so the lack thereof, is painfully noticeable. He brought a sense of child-like wonder to the titles he created, and part of me still hopes that one day he'll resume his former role and give us a truly new Mario and/or Zelda game. He has enough fans out there that if ever such an occurrence were announced, sales of those games would go through the roof. To a great many people, he is the creator of modern video games.

Okay, got that fanboy rant out of me, now moving along...my cousin had a Nintendo first. I would say I was so jealous, but I really wasn't, because we were always together anyways, so I played it plenty! It's one of the things that caused my cousin and I to bond so strongly as children. We got to experience "Mike Tyson's Punch Out!" together, "Megaman" (and even more so "Megaman 2") and somewhat more obscure titles such as "Milon's Secret Castle." Though the very first game I remember him having was "Ghostbusters". We spent hours playing that game, and to be honest, there was nothing that particularly fun about it, other than reaching the end to try and climb all of those damn stairs to get to the roof. I don't remember if we ever beat it, but we sure as hell had fun trying.

And then it happened. I don't recall if it was one or two years later, but it was Christmas morning (yes, Christmas, not holiday, or whatever other politically correct term gets used nowadays. I'm extremely non-religious, but come on, why ruin something so innocent with verbal bureaucracy?) Anyways, my brothers and I all opened our presents. There was no Nintendo under the tree, nor did I expect one to be there...it just seemed too expensive! But there was one little present left under the tree and it was for me and my two brothers. We all tore parts of the paper off, and inside was a little box containing an even littler note, which indicated that we should look in the closet next to the stairs. We did as instructed and emerged with a large wrapped box. My brother ripped off a corner of it and that was it...I had seen enough. The little white stars on the black backdrop were all I needed to see to know exactly what was inside. This had never happened to me before, nor has it happened to me since, but I quite literally fell over. I was so stupidly excited that my knees gave out. It was like a Christmas miracle. It's so wonderful to receive something that you always perceived as being just too good, too expensive, too much. There was no part of my innocent little mind that even suspected my parents would buy us a Nintendo. It came with "Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt" and my parents had also purchased another game, "1943." I don't like war. I don't like war games. I don't like flying games. None of that mattered; I played the crap out of that game and I loved every minute of it because I played it on MY (okay, our) Nintendo.

And thus began my lifelong fascination. I made my way through all of the iconic NES titles, besting near-impossible games such as "Battletoads" and games that I could beat in a half-hour, such as "Ducktales". A few years later, 1991 to be precise, the Super Nintendo was released. I played it a few times at a neighborhood kid's place and decided it had to be mine. The problem was that I was still quite a few years away from working, so I had very little money. My parents gave us a $2 weekly allowance which I had sometimes (if I hadn't spent it on candy at the corner store) deposited into an account, along with birthday money. My younger brother was worse off than me. My older brother, however, had just recently started delivering newspapers. I couldn't do it alone. I needed to sell them on the idea that we had to have an SNES! So I crunched the numbers and figured out that we could split it three ways...my older brother would pay $75, I would pay $50, and my younger brother would pay $25. The system was a bit more than that but if I recall, my older brother agreed to cover the extra $20 or so. And that was that; I got them to agree, called the store to check the stock, and talked my parents into driving us to the store, all in one evening.

In 1996, a somewhat similar situation came up--the Nintendo 64 was released. That Christmas, rather than buy us any large gifts, my parents took my brothers and I to San Antonio, Texas to visit my cousin who lived there, and still does. While there, I decided I wanted a Nintendo 64 (I had a job delivering fliers by then, so I had some money.) My older brother wasn't interested, but my little brother decided to split the cost with me. I started calling all of the Super K-Marts but it was a hot ticket item. Again, my extremely kind parents agreed to take us to the store, even though it meant we had to go to 2-3 different stores just to gather the system, an extra controller, and a game. We couldn't find "Mario 64" anywhere in town, so we picked up "Waverace" instead and to this day it's one of my favorite racing games, and arguably one of the best water racing games ever. My little brother was acting up on the way back, so my parents instilled the ultimate punishment: he couldn't play the Nintendo 64 that evening. Poor kid...he sat there watching me play it by myself for hours. I felt terrible, though he was a good sport and just tried to get into it without playing it, as an active bystander. He would get to play it the next day, after all.


If you can't tell by now, I have been and likely will always be a die-hard Nintendo fan. Though Miyamoto's presence is lacking from the games now being released, Nintendo still makes the best platforming games and the best action/adventure games out there. I also own a Playstation 3 and have a close friend who owns an Xbox 360, so I get to dabble in all of the major platforms. I was skeptical at first about picking up a Playstation 3, but a couple key features sold me on it. First off, the one I bought is the original 60GB model...the only one with true Playstation 2 backwards compatibility. Not having ever owned a Playstation 2 but loving some of the titles, this was important. It's really unfortunate that Sony has since discontinued this valuable feature...shame on them for that one. I hope mine never breaks! Second and most importantly though, the PS3 is a fairly efficient media server, meaning I can stream movies, TV shows, pictures, and music from my computer right to my TV. I've done exactly what Sony would want me to do; I have made the PS3 the center hub of my entire media setup. It's my video game console, my stereo, my photo viewer, and my DVD/Blu-ray player. If it breaks, I'll have virtually no choice but to replace it. So kudos to Sony, you've made a whore out of me! In their defense, however, they have had some amazing first-party titles, such as "Little Big Planet" and "Heavy Rain".

So though this little recap skipped a generation (ahem...Gamecube...ahem), I hope it has provided a slightly better understanding of how video games have given me one more reason to be passionate. Roger Ebert has apparently dismissed video games, implying that they cannot be considered true art along side of literature and film. My guess is that he must not play them. I can't believe that anyone who genuinely plays these games (whether old or new) would make such a ludicrous argument. Though at first, film was not considered art either, so maybe his opinion will change over time, just like the stuffy old men of that previous generation had to eventually change theirs. Anyone else who thinks that video games do not belong in the realm of art, dish out $10-$15 and play Braid, one of my favorite games of the past decade.

See you next week. 

Getting Caught Up Part II: Horrific Fascination

I had indicated last week that in my next post I would discuss horror movies and video games. I lied; this will only cover some of my favorite horror flicks. The video games will have to wait until next week...

My mild obsession with all things spooky started at a very young age, long before I realized I could actually enjoy it. I was a child plagued with intense nightmares...every night. I was that kid who was afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid to go to sleep, afraid of everything! Of all the odd things for a kid to fear, I was actually afraid of tall structures and buildings. When my parents would drive downtown, I'd be huddled behind their seat, cowering in fear. Most people immediately assume that I was afraid the buildings would fall or something somewhat logical along those lines. But in actuality, it was the personality of these tall beasts that frightened me, if that makes any sense. Each of the downtown buildings was akin to a giant monster, much more powerful than I, who was no more than a tiny bug in comparison. (Anyone who remembers the 80s cartoon "Inhumanoids" will know exactly what I'm talking about.) But I digress...the point is that I was afraid of everything. I'd wake up almost every night having had a nightmare (I may post one time and elaborate on these dreams, but trust me, they were messed up dreams for a 5-year old to be having), terrified, unable to move, sometimes not even able to scream. I did all that fun stuff kids do when they're scared: hid under my blankets until morning, screamed for mom and dad, ran out of my bedroom like a crazy person.

So obviously I was destined to love horror, right? Clearly I needed more fear in my life. It makes more sense when you consider another one of my fascinations at the time--looking at the backs of horror movie VHS sleeves at the video store. My dad has always been into horror movies, so I would go to the store with him and look at the backs of the movies and try to suggest what he should rent. There was something so mythical and mysterious about all of the depicted creatures. And yet I think there was something reassuring about it all; the VHS tapes were their prison and as such, they couldn't get to me.

I've concluded that my love of horror was my own mind's way of dealing with the fear I experienced in my youth. I chose to explore it and challenge myself; and in doing so, I've ended up rather desensitized to it all. So the hunt continues as I constantly try to find something that actually scares me, that can actually measure up to the haunting ideas that bounced around in my mind as a child.  Rather than doing anything chronological like last week's look at indie music, I've decided the best way to attack this one is to categorize, so here goes, my Top 5 lists of favorites:


Slashers

5) Black Christmas (1974)
(Bob Clark basically invented the modern slasher formula with this one. In fact, the "seeing through the killer's eyes" technique popularized by Halloween was first seen here.)
4) Halloween (1978)
(This John Carpenter classic deserves props for having effective suspense scenes in broad daylight.)
3) Friday the 13th (1980)
(Killing horny camp counselors had to start somewhere! Oh the moralistic slasher. My favorite camp horror movie, next to...)
2) Sleepaway Camp (1983)
(The kids were crueler, the camp cook more perverted, and as for the killer, well, who can forget that freeze-frame ending?!)
1) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
(The ultimate bogeyman, Freddy Krueger, murders kids in their sleep. If you read my little write-up above,it makes perfect sense that this is my absolute favorite of the genre. Why must you rape everything I hold sacred, Michael Bay....why?)

Honorable Mention: When a Stranger Calls (1979)
(This movie proves that fear can be created by a simple setup and the skillful positioning of the camera. Seriously, the first 20 minutes of this movie are terrifying!)

Alien Movies (evil ones only)


5) Predator (1987)
(It could be argued that this is more action than horror, but the Predator remains one of the coolest movie aliens ever conceived.)
4) The Blob (1988)
(A faceless monster that even eats kids...thanks a lot for bringing it to town, old drunk man.)
3) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
(The best version of this oft-told story features Donald Sutherland in the lead role. Trust no one.)
2) Alien (1979)
(The thing that makes this movie so great is that it's genuinely scary! Makes you miss the 70s when horror movies were in their prime.)
1) The Thing (1982)
(Some of my favorite special effects in any horror movie, this John Carpenter gem involves a shape-shifting alien that wreaks havoc at an Antarctic base. Oh and did I mention Kurt Russell is in it? The unrivaled sense of paranoia and isolation and the nihilistic ending make this one of my very favorite horror films of all time.)

Honorable Mention: Evil Aliens (2005)
(Brings good ol' fashion alien anal probing back to the forefront!)


Horror Comedy

5) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
(Valley girl faces Pee-Wee Herman in a fight to the death...and some other vampire master...and Luke Perry is in it.)
4) Undead (2003)
(This underrated Australian zombie/alien hybrid is hilariously (and violently) fun from start to finish.)
3) Waxwork (1988)
(This homage to classic horror involves teens "entering" and living out horror wax exhibits.)
2) Dead Alive (1992, alternate title "Braindead")
(Am I the only one who thinks Peter Jackson should leave the Lord of the Rings alone and get back to his glorious, low-budget roots?)
1) Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
(This one has it all: a killer plant, catchy songs and Steve Martin the bad-ass dentist!)


Honorable Mention: Night of the Creeps (1986)
(Another cool take on the alien parasite sub-genre.)


Vampire Movies


5) Near Dark (1987)
(Bill Paxton joins a group of nomadic vampires in a desperate attempt to get the girl.)
4) Salem's Lot (1979)
(Based on Stephen King's story. I'll never forget that image of the little boy, hovering, tapping on the bedroom window. Directed by Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw Massacre fame.)
3) Fright Night (1985)
(A fun story about a boy who hires an aging television personality to help him prove his new neighbor is a vampire.)
2) Cronos (1993)
(Slow-paced horror/drama that puts a fresh spin on the vampire genre. Directed by Guillermo del Toro.)
1) The Lost Boys (1987)
(As far as I'm concerned, this is what it's all about. Bloodshed, check. Gothic soundtrack, check. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, check. When I was a kid, my cousin and I watched the last 30 minutes of this movie ad nauseum!)

Honorable Mention: Subspecies (1991)
(Interesting, low-budget spin on the vampire tale by Full Moon Entertainment.)

Werewolf Movies

5) Silver Bullet (1985)
(Gary Busey helps his nephew break the sound barrier in a wheelchair, and kill a werewolf!)
4) The Howling (1981)
(A newswoman spends some time at a rehabilitation center (or was it a nudist colony) where people may not be what they seem.)
3) Ginger Snaps (2000)
(Puberty = werewolf...'nuff said!)
2) Dog Soldiers (2002)
(Neil Marshall deserves props for this contribution to the genre. It's gory, at times funny, and the pace never lets up. Best action-werewolf film ever.)
1) An American Werewolf in London (1981)
(The bottom line is that a werewolf movie is only as good as its transformation scene, and this is still the best one ever filmed.

Honorable Mention: Teen Wolf (1985)
(Michael J. Fox as a high school basketball playing werewolf. Well, it was the 80s!)

Asian Horror

5) Phone (2002)
(I generally hate child actors, or at least their performances. This is definitely one exception and the main reason Phone is on this list. The little girl in this movie should get an Oscar!)
4) Ringu (1998)
(I didn't mind the remake, but this one is still more atmospheric and unsettling. Hooray to the Japanese for realizing how scary VHS can be.)
3) Ju-On (2002)
(One of few movies that have genuinely creeped me out. Maybe it was the house itself, the low-budget, or the relentlessness of the evil, but there is definitely something spooky about this ghost story.)
2) Audition (1999)
(This Takashi Miike masterpiece plays out like a Japanese Fatal Attraction with an unforgettable finale!)
1) Suicide Club (2001, alternate title "Suicide Circle")
(Rolls of sewn-together flesh start to show up at scenes of mass suicides. Honestly, I won't even try to describe this film beyond that. If you want to see something like you've never seen before, go find this movie!)

Honorable Mention: A Tale of Two Sisters(2003)
(Two girls, after extended illness, return home to live with their father and their somewhat sinister stepmother.)


French Horror

5) Irreversible (2002)
(Easily the most incomprehensibly violent beating with a fire extinguisher ever put to film.)
4) The Ordeal (2004)
(When your car breaks down, just stay in the car.)
3) Martyrs (2008)
(If the opening scenes aren't brutal enough, just wait--there's much, much more where that came from. Not for the squeamish.)
2) High Tension (2003)
(Honestly, everything except for the ending was a fantastic trip back to the 70s when horror movies were fearless. I just don't think about the final 15 minutes because they pull you right out of the cool 70s and back to the depressing state of most modern horror films.)
1) Inside (2007)
(This movie spirals out of control and by the end the violence is so over-the-top that some would be inclined to look away, where as I grin ear to ear in slightly-guilty pleasure and simultaneously think of how sad it is that such movies would never be produced in the politically correct (ha!) United States.) 



Italian Horror

5) Zombie (1979)
(Let's forget the fact that it also went by the name "Zombi 2," shamelessly posing as a sequel to George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" which had the international title of...you guesses it..."Zombi". Instead, I recommend that we focus on the large wooden splinter that we are privileged to watch enter a living human's eyeball without cutting away!)
4) Phenomena (1984)
(I consider this an underrated gem by Italian giallo maestro Dario Argento. Sure the metal soundtrack can be a bit cheesy, but this movie is full of creepy, nightmarish imagery and has a sweet monkey with a razor blade to boot!)  
3) The Beyond (1981)
(Bloody carnage at one of the 7 gates of hell. Regarded by a large number of fans as Lucio Fulci's best film.)
2) Deep Red (1975)
(This movie may be thin on plot but it more than makes up for it in great murder sequences and genuinely creepy atmosphere, not to mention some beautiful European architecture.)
1) Suspiria (1977)
(Dario Argento's masterpiece and my oft-example of the intersection between horror and fine art, this is one extended nightmare sequence that just creeps under your skin. The moody soundtrack by "Goblin" doesn't hurt either. I mean, a woman is chased on a roof by a gloved killer who then proceeds to cut her chest open to reveal her rapidly beating heart, which he then stabs repeatedly. She then falls through the glass window, hanging herself in the process while the giant shards of glass impale a second victim below; and all I can think is "wow, that's truly beautiful." The symmetry of the shot, the angle of the camera, the thickness and obvious artifice of the blood all points to a true artist at work. And this happens in the first 15 minutes!)

Honorable Mentions: Cannibal Holocaust (1980) & Demons (1985)
(I had to mention both of these. The former is probably the most realistic and graphic, not to mention disturbing movie I've seen from Italy. Filmmaker Ruggero Deodato was even arrested upon its release, accused of producing snuff...until he could produce the actors, of course. The latter is the ultimate popcorn flick. It involves demons taking over an old-school movie theater. Now how can you solve this problem with only a motorcycle and a machete?)

Anthologies

5) Three...Extremes (2004)
(Three Japanese directors take a stab (no pun intended) at the short-film format with positive, albeit slightly mixed, results.)
4) Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
(The one about the cat steals the show for me. Couldn't see that ending coming!)
3) Creepshow (1982)
(Classic! George A. Romero directs 5 pieces written by Stephen King. A little goofy but then, most of King's stuff is once it's put up on the screen.)
2) Tales From the Crypt (1972)
(Five stories based on E.C. comics of the 50s.)
1) Trick 'r Treat (2009)
(For once I have to give genuine props to a modern American film. It follows a mysterious character named Sam on Halloween night as he witnesses (and participates in) all sorts of ghoulish fun! It's the most creative and fresh take on the horror anthology format that I've seen since, well, ever!)  

Honorable Mention: Tales From the Hood (1995)
(The horror anthology goes urban!)


Best Worst Horror Movies

5) Forever Evil (1987)
(You can see the caps under the guy's shirt minutes before he's shot!)
4) Leprechaun (1993, and the sequels only get worse!)
("Lep in the hood, up to no good." 'Nuff said.)
3) Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
(Fear their cotton candy and zany carnival soundtrack! Seriously, how did this get made? And yet, though I make fun, I've seen it a good half-dozen times at least. I guess it just does bad cinema well!)
2) Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
(Ed Wood's famed "masterpiece." Has to be seen to be believed.)
1) Troll 2 (1990)
(Nilbog spelled backwards is Goblin. There...I ruined the big revelation for you. I have never seen a worse movie than this one. I go out of my way to show it to people because you really can't understand how bad it is otherwise. In fact, they are releasing a documentary this year, if I'm not mistaken, that is entirely about how this movie is the worst movie ever. See it now!!)

Honorable Mention: Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009)
(If the title isn't hokey enough, what else can I say? People take hits from the bong. Obviously, this transports them to the inner realm of the bong where naked women try to tie them down while they pretend to resist. Obviously.)
 

Getting Caught Up

Hello to anyone who has stumbled onto this blog. I am a film school graduate who has, in all fairness, done little with regards to film since school finished. And even the choice to enroll in such a program was a bit tricky, in that I'm fairly schizophrenic when it comes to arts and media. What it comes down to is that I value creativity in all of its glory. I'm an avid fan of music, film, writing, video games...even cooking.

I can't draw.

Every Thursday I will be adding a post. Being idealistic, I'd love to promise a film review, album review, and game review every week, but that's going to depend on that lovely yet oft-spiteful variable we call real life.

The title of this post refers to the first order of business: music. The idea behind "getting caught up" is to give you a touch of insight into the kinds of music that allow me to maintain hope in human creativity. This typically is not Top40 stuff, or anything you're likely to hear on the radio (with some exceptions, of course,) but it's inspired, and when it comes to music, there's nothing more important. We do this chronologically, starting with...

2005 

Favorite Album: Gorillaz - Demon Days

This is probably the most "mainstream" of all the albums that will appear on this list. But trendy or not, this album was fascinating. And I suppose it's good for me to have a popular album like this one at the top of my list to immediately support that I'm not a music snob (i.e. I don't base my opinions on whether an album is popular or not.) The appeal of the Gorillaz, as far as I'm concerned, is escapism. This "cartoon band", led by Blur's Damon Albarn, churn out funky, surreal bits of pop. Blending rap, sung vocals, hypnotic beats, and synths of all flavors, and featuring an impressive roster of contributors--De La Soul, Roots Manuva, MF Doom, and Ike Turner, to name a few--Demon Days is an adventurous, trippy, sometimes dark but always playful look at the modern world.
Favorite Tracks: "Fire Coming Out of the Monkey's Head", "Kids With Guns" 

Runner up: Sufjan Stevens - Illinois

Stevens once boasted that he'd like to write an album for all 50 states. If they could somehow all be of the same quality as his ode to Illinois, I'd argue it would be a worthwhile endeavor. This is meticulously arranged pop at its finest, every note and every melody having been given careful consideration. Though the song titles come off as pretentious at a glance ("A Short Reprise For Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, But For Very Good Reason", "The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us"), once you give the album a listen you'll realize that it's the simple playfulness of an anti-folk auteur, perhaps even a poke at the fact that title means very little when compared to content. And as ludicrous as the titles may be, these songs are anything but. Lush and over-the-top instrumentation paired perfectly with Stevens' hushed tone, create some truly magical moments rivaled only by the ambition of it all.
Favorite Tracks: "John Wayne Gacy Jr.", "Chicago", "They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From the Dead!! Ahhhhh!"

Honorable mention: Wolf Parade - Apologies to The Queen Mary.

2006

Favorite album: TV On The Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain

Right from the first listen, this one kicked my ass; it's the antithesis to a slow-burner. And if the flasetto-laden opener "I Was a Lover" doesn't win you over, "Hours" surely will, as it immediately dives into all things TV on the Radio. The combined voices of singers Tunde Adebimpe and Kyp Malone create an instrument like no other. Add in the funky, jazzy production and unforgettable melodies and what you end up with is an album you're unlikely to forget. For me though, as catchy and head-bobbable as most of the album may be, it really heads to another level altogether when they slow it all down and make beautiful indie-pop ballads.
Favorite Tracks:  "Province", "Tonight", "Wolf Like Me"

Runner up: The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America

Touted as the greatest bar band in the world, these guys know how to craft catchy, dirty rock tunes and expertly blend them with matter-of-fact narrative lyrics to create songs in which the sum is greater than the parts. Taking on a somewhat Springsteen/E Street Band flavor, singer Craig Finn sing-speaks his way through stories of low-lives, drugs & alcohol, and excessive partying, yet somehow it all comes across honest and heartfelt, not nearly as cold and unaffecting as you'd expect from the above description. Who else could pull off a line like "she was golden with bar-light and beer" without a smirk and evoke genuine emotion? In the context of that song ("First Night") and Finn's delivery, it's a breathtaking line of barroom poetry.
Favorite Tracks: "First Night","Stuck Between Stations", "Hot Soft Light"

Honorable Mention:   Beirut - Gulag Orkestar

2007

Favorite Album: The National - Boxer

This is a slow-burning masterpiece of melancholy. It's an album that gets better with every listen. Matt Berninger's haunting baritone leads us through songs of heartbreak, boredom and all those sad things in between. The lyrics, arguably the most interesting part of the experience, at first seem slightly random. But as you listen to the songs, they come together to create beautiful visual interpretations of emotions ("You were always weird but I never had to hold you by the edges like I do now"). Though at first the songs may seem somewhat simple, this is only due to the subtlety of the hooks that sink deeper into you with every listen. Essentially, you'll get out of this album what you're willing to put into it.
Favorite Tracks: "Fake Empire", "Start a War", "Racing Like a Pro"

Runner Up: Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

As the story goes, singer/songwriter Justin Vernon, following the break-up of his previous band and of his relationship, secluded himself to a cabin in northern Wisconsin for 3 months and wrote/produced this album from the ground up, which included playing all of the instruments himself. It's a touching, sad winter album that reflects his state of mind at the time of his self-inflicted isolation. His moniker is an slightly altered spelling of "bon hiver" which means "good winter" in French.
Favorite Tracks: "Skinny Love", "Flume"
 
Honorable Mention: The National Lights - The Dead Will Walk, Dear

2008

Favorite Album: Why? - Alopecia

There's nothing else I've ever heard that sounds quite like this album. The best way to describe it would be indie pop with a hip-hop swagger, but even that doesn't come close to doing it justice. The lyrics spill out of front-man Jonathan "Yoni" Wolf like if stream-of-consciousness could be meticulously calculated. And if that sounds like a contradiction, it's no more or less one than what you find on this album. Combining the vulgar with the intelligent, this is an album by someone with a lot to say. Wrap it all in a bundle of somewhat uneasy, somber musicality and it becomes the perfect late night (read: early morning) companion. This guy must keep a pen and paper--or better yet, a recorder--by his bed at night; I mean just check out the ending to "The Fall of Mr. Fifths".
Favorite Tracks: "The Hollows", "Song of the Sad Assassin", "The Vowels Pt. 2"

Runner Up: Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles

This is an interesting album in that it caters to both my love of music and videogames (well, old videogames, anyways.) Combining crunching bass lines, funky drum loops, and 8-bit sound effects, they create interesting, danceable songs. Who knew that the old-school sounds of collecting coins or bouncing off the head of an enemy from the NES games of the 80s could be transformed into intense, dance-punk masterpieces? This album oozes with attitude and energy and will have you bobbing your head along, whether it's at a party or on your iPod.
Favorite Tracks: "Alice Practice", "Crimewave"

Honorable Mention: Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

2009

Favorite Album: Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer 

Hailing from Montreal, Quebec, Sunset Rubdown know how to make pop feel unpredictable. Each song leaps from one melody to another, hitting highs of which many bands could only dream before hopping into something even better. Spencer Krug (of Wolf Parade fame), layers somewhat abstract lyricism in his immediately-recognizable, emotional warble over an inspired and fun (albeit never goofy) assortment of songs. Kicking off with the art-rock ballad "Silver Moons", the album flirts with many styles, such as new wave ("Idiot Heart") and even minstrel-toned music ("Nightingale/December Song"). It could be argued that I'm all the more swayed by this one being that I saw them perform in a small venue and it was the best live set of music I've ever experienced.
Favorite Tracks: "Silver Moons", "You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II)", "Nightingale/December Song"

Runner Up: The Antlers - Hospice

This was a tough one to choose, as it was pretty much tied with Animal Collective's "Merriweather Post Pavilion" as my runner up for 2009. The deciding factor is that, while Animal Collective's album was the more creative from a technical standpoint, the humanity of Hospice won me over. It is an exploration of intense human emotion, mostly the ugly kind. It's a concept album that tells the story of a man who falls in love with a woman who is in the hospital, dying of cancer (presumably, the man works there.) Though it could be quickly assumed that it is simply the sadness of her passing that makes this album touching, it would be a false assumption. What makes this story (and album) tragic is the journey of the main character. The object of his love is dying and takes out much of her suffering on him, leaving him broken. While he loves her and tries desperately to help her, care for her, and keep it together, she hurts him to the point where he regrets his involvement with her ("I wish that I had known in that first minute we met the unpayable debt that I owed you. 'Cause you'd been abused by the bone that refused you and you hired me to make up for that"). It's disgustingly human, and yet for that same reason, it's hauntingly gorgeous. Drowned in distortion and reverb, these songs will stay with you long after the album has ended; whether that's something you want or not becomes a matter of personal choice. 
Favorite Tracks: "Kettering", "Wake", "Epilogue"

Honorable Mention - Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion

And that's it for tonight! Next week I'll give some background as to the movies I enjoy (horror) and video games. And then I'll be able to start posting weekly reviews. Until then...