Getting Caught Up Part II: Horrific Fascination

I had indicated last week that in my next post I would discuss horror movies and video games. I lied; this will only cover some of my favorite horror flicks. The video games will have to wait until next week...

My mild obsession with all things spooky started at a very young age, long before I realized I could actually enjoy it. I was a child plagued with intense nightmares...every night. I was that kid who was afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid to go to sleep, afraid of everything! Of all the odd things for a kid to fear, I was actually afraid of tall structures and buildings. When my parents would drive downtown, I'd be huddled behind their seat, cowering in fear. Most people immediately assume that I was afraid the buildings would fall or something somewhat logical along those lines. But in actuality, it was the personality of these tall beasts that frightened me, if that makes any sense. Each of the downtown buildings was akin to a giant monster, much more powerful than I, who was no more than a tiny bug in comparison. (Anyone who remembers the 80s cartoon "Inhumanoids" will know exactly what I'm talking about.) But I digress...the point is that I was afraid of everything. I'd wake up almost every night having had a nightmare (I may post one time and elaborate on these dreams, but trust me, they were messed up dreams for a 5-year old to be having), terrified, unable to move, sometimes not even able to scream. I did all that fun stuff kids do when they're scared: hid under my blankets until morning, screamed for mom and dad, ran out of my bedroom like a crazy person.

So obviously I was destined to love horror, right? Clearly I needed more fear in my life. It makes more sense when you consider another one of my fascinations at the time--looking at the backs of horror movie VHS sleeves at the video store. My dad has always been into horror movies, so I would go to the store with him and look at the backs of the movies and try to suggest what he should rent. There was something so mythical and mysterious about all of the depicted creatures. And yet I think there was something reassuring about it all; the VHS tapes were their prison and as such, they couldn't get to me.

I've concluded that my love of horror was my own mind's way of dealing with the fear I experienced in my youth. I chose to explore it and challenge myself; and in doing so, I've ended up rather desensitized to it all. So the hunt continues as I constantly try to find something that actually scares me, that can actually measure up to the haunting ideas that bounced around in my mind as a child.  Rather than doing anything chronological like last week's look at indie music, I've decided the best way to attack this one is to categorize, so here goes, my Top 5 lists of favorites:


Slashers

5) Black Christmas (1974)
(Bob Clark basically invented the modern slasher formula with this one. In fact, the "seeing through the killer's eyes" technique popularized by Halloween was first seen here.)
4) Halloween (1978)
(This John Carpenter classic deserves props for having effective suspense scenes in broad daylight.)
3) Friday the 13th (1980)
(Killing horny camp counselors had to start somewhere! Oh the moralistic slasher. My favorite camp horror movie, next to...)
2) Sleepaway Camp (1983)
(The kids were crueler, the camp cook more perverted, and as for the killer, well, who can forget that freeze-frame ending?!)
1) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
(The ultimate bogeyman, Freddy Krueger, murders kids in their sleep. If you read my little write-up above,it makes perfect sense that this is my absolute favorite of the genre. Why must you rape everything I hold sacred, Michael Bay....why?)

Honorable Mention: When a Stranger Calls (1979)
(This movie proves that fear can be created by a simple setup and the skillful positioning of the camera. Seriously, the first 20 minutes of this movie are terrifying!)

Alien Movies (evil ones only)


5) Predator (1987)
(It could be argued that this is more action than horror, but the Predator remains one of the coolest movie aliens ever conceived.)
4) The Blob (1988)
(A faceless monster that even eats kids...thanks a lot for bringing it to town, old drunk man.)
3) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
(The best version of this oft-told story features Donald Sutherland in the lead role. Trust no one.)
2) Alien (1979)
(The thing that makes this movie so great is that it's genuinely scary! Makes you miss the 70s when horror movies were in their prime.)
1) The Thing (1982)
(Some of my favorite special effects in any horror movie, this John Carpenter gem involves a shape-shifting alien that wreaks havoc at an Antarctic base. Oh and did I mention Kurt Russell is in it? The unrivaled sense of paranoia and isolation and the nihilistic ending make this one of my very favorite horror films of all time.)

Honorable Mention: Evil Aliens (2005)
(Brings good ol' fashion alien anal probing back to the forefront!)


Horror Comedy

5) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
(Valley girl faces Pee-Wee Herman in a fight to the death...and some other vampire master...and Luke Perry is in it.)
4) Undead (2003)
(This underrated Australian zombie/alien hybrid is hilariously (and violently) fun from start to finish.)
3) Waxwork (1988)
(This homage to classic horror involves teens "entering" and living out horror wax exhibits.)
2) Dead Alive (1992, alternate title "Braindead")
(Am I the only one who thinks Peter Jackson should leave the Lord of the Rings alone and get back to his glorious, low-budget roots?)
1) Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
(This one has it all: a killer plant, catchy songs and Steve Martin the bad-ass dentist!)


Honorable Mention: Night of the Creeps (1986)
(Another cool take on the alien parasite sub-genre.)


Vampire Movies


5) Near Dark (1987)
(Bill Paxton joins a group of nomadic vampires in a desperate attempt to get the girl.)
4) Salem's Lot (1979)
(Based on Stephen King's story. I'll never forget that image of the little boy, hovering, tapping on the bedroom window. Directed by Tobe Hooper of Texas Chainsaw Massacre fame.)
3) Fright Night (1985)
(A fun story about a boy who hires an aging television personality to help him prove his new neighbor is a vampire.)
2) Cronos (1993)
(Slow-paced horror/drama that puts a fresh spin on the vampire genre. Directed by Guillermo del Toro.)
1) The Lost Boys (1987)
(As far as I'm concerned, this is what it's all about. Bloodshed, check. Gothic soundtrack, check. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, check. When I was a kid, my cousin and I watched the last 30 minutes of this movie ad nauseum!)

Honorable Mention: Subspecies (1991)
(Interesting, low-budget spin on the vampire tale by Full Moon Entertainment.)

Werewolf Movies

5) Silver Bullet (1985)
(Gary Busey helps his nephew break the sound barrier in a wheelchair, and kill a werewolf!)
4) The Howling (1981)
(A newswoman spends some time at a rehabilitation center (or was it a nudist colony) where people may not be what they seem.)
3) Ginger Snaps (2000)
(Puberty = werewolf...'nuff said!)
2) Dog Soldiers (2002)
(Neil Marshall deserves props for this contribution to the genre. It's gory, at times funny, and the pace never lets up. Best action-werewolf film ever.)
1) An American Werewolf in London (1981)
(The bottom line is that a werewolf movie is only as good as its transformation scene, and this is still the best one ever filmed.

Honorable Mention: Teen Wolf (1985)
(Michael J. Fox as a high school basketball playing werewolf. Well, it was the 80s!)

Asian Horror

5) Phone (2002)
(I generally hate child actors, or at least their performances. This is definitely one exception and the main reason Phone is on this list. The little girl in this movie should get an Oscar!)
4) Ringu (1998)
(I didn't mind the remake, but this one is still more atmospheric and unsettling. Hooray to the Japanese for realizing how scary VHS can be.)
3) Ju-On (2002)
(One of few movies that have genuinely creeped me out. Maybe it was the house itself, the low-budget, or the relentlessness of the evil, but there is definitely something spooky about this ghost story.)
2) Audition (1999)
(This Takashi Miike masterpiece plays out like a Japanese Fatal Attraction with an unforgettable finale!)
1) Suicide Club (2001, alternate title "Suicide Circle")
(Rolls of sewn-together flesh start to show up at scenes of mass suicides. Honestly, I won't even try to describe this film beyond that. If you want to see something like you've never seen before, go find this movie!)

Honorable Mention: A Tale of Two Sisters(2003)
(Two girls, after extended illness, return home to live with their father and their somewhat sinister stepmother.)


French Horror

5) Irreversible (2002)
(Easily the most incomprehensibly violent beating with a fire extinguisher ever put to film.)
4) The Ordeal (2004)
(When your car breaks down, just stay in the car.)
3) Martyrs (2008)
(If the opening scenes aren't brutal enough, just wait--there's much, much more where that came from. Not for the squeamish.)
2) High Tension (2003)
(Honestly, everything except for the ending was a fantastic trip back to the 70s when horror movies were fearless. I just don't think about the final 15 minutes because they pull you right out of the cool 70s and back to the depressing state of most modern horror films.)
1) Inside (2007)
(This movie spirals out of control and by the end the violence is so over-the-top that some would be inclined to look away, where as I grin ear to ear in slightly-guilty pleasure and simultaneously think of how sad it is that such movies would never be produced in the politically correct (ha!) United States.) 



Italian Horror

5) Zombie (1979)
(Let's forget the fact that it also went by the name "Zombi 2," shamelessly posing as a sequel to George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" which had the international title of...you guesses it..."Zombi". Instead, I recommend that we focus on the large wooden splinter that we are privileged to watch enter a living human's eyeball without cutting away!)
4) Phenomena (1984)
(I consider this an underrated gem by Italian giallo maestro Dario Argento. Sure the metal soundtrack can be a bit cheesy, but this movie is full of creepy, nightmarish imagery and has a sweet monkey with a razor blade to boot!)  
3) The Beyond (1981)
(Bloody carnage at one of the 7 gates of hell. Regarded by a large number of fans as Lucio Fulci's best film.)
2) Deep Red (1975)
(This movie may be thin on plot but it more than makes up for it in great murder sequences and genuinely creepy atmosphere, not to mention some beautiful European architecture.)
1) Suspiria (1977)
(Dario Argento's masterpiece and my oft-example of the intersection between horror and fine art, this is one extended nightmare sequence that just creeps under your skin. The moody soundtrack by "Goblin" doesn't hurt either. I mean, a woman is chased on a roof by a gloved killer who then proceeds to cut her chest open to reveal her rapidly beating heart, which he then stabs repeatedly. She then falls through the glass window, hanging herself in the process while the giant shards of glass impale a second victim below; and all I can think is "wow, that's truly beautiful." The symmetry of the shot, the angle of the camera, the thickness and obvious artifice of the blood all points to a true artist at work. And this happens in the first 15 minutes!)

Honorable Mentions: Cannibal Holocaust (1980) & Demons (1985)
(I had to mention both of these. The former is probably the most realistic and graphic, not to mention disturbing movie I've seen from Italy. Filmmaker Ruggero Deodato was even arrested upon its release, accused of producing snuff...until he could produce the actors, of course. The latter is the ultimate popcorn flick. It involves demons taking over an old-school movie theater. Now how can you solve this problem with only a motorcycle and a machete?)

Anthologies

5) Three...Extremes (2004)
(Three Japanese directors take a stab (no pun intended) at the short-film format with positive, albeit slightly mixed, results.)
4) Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
(The one about the cat steals the show for me. Couldn't see that ending coming!)
3) Creepshow (1982)
(Classic! George A. Romero directs 5 pieces written by Stephen King. A little goofy but then, most of King's stuff is once it's put up on the screen.)
2) Tales From the Crypt (1972)
(Five stories based on E.C. comics of the 50s.)
1) Trick 'r Treat (2009)
(For once I have to give genuine props to a modern American film. It follows a mysterious character named Sam on Halloween night as he witnesses (and participates in) all sorts of ghoulish fun! It's the most creative and fresh take on the horror anthology format that I've seen since, well, ever!)  

Honorable Mention: Tales From the Hood (1995)
(The horror anthology goes urban!)


Best Worst Horror Movies

5) Forever Evil (1987)
(You can see the caps under the guy's shirt minutes before he's shot!)
4) Leprechaun (1993, and the sequels only get worse!)
("Lep in the hood, up to no good." 'Nuff said.)
3) Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
(Fear their cotton candy and zany carnival soundtrack! Seriously, how did this get made? And yet, though I make fun, I've seen it a good half-dozen times at least. I guess it just does bad cinema well!)
2) Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
(Ed Wood's famed "masterpiece." Has to be seen to be believed.)
1) Troll 2 (1990)
(Nilbog spelled backwards is Goblin. There...I ruined the big revelation for you. I have never seen a worse movie than this one. I go out of my way to show it to people because you really can't understand how bad it is otherwise. In fact, they are releasing a documentary this year, if I'm not mistaken, that is entirely about how this movie is the worst movie ever. See it now!!)

Honorable Mention: Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009)
(If the title isn't hokey enough, what else can I say? People take hits from the bong. Obviously, this transports them to the inner realm of the bong where naked women try to tie them down while they pretend to resist. Obviously.)